


Celebrity Take Me Out

by JustLyra



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF
Genre: F/M, dating show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 09:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLyra/pseuds/JustLyra
Summary: To raise money for a charity 20 riders and 1 tv presenter agree to take part in a special episode of Take Me Out...





	Celebrity Take Me Out

**Author's Note:**

> I've only seen TMO once so it's not accurate (plus, bits had to change to fit...)

“Good evening!” Swaggering to the stage in his usual effusive manner the tv host grinned to the audience and cameras, “Welcome to this very special charity edition of Celebrity Take Me Out! This week we have a slightly different plan for the show… We have twenty of the most eligible bachelors that the MotoGP paddock could offer up and they will be vying for the attention of a very beautiful television presenter… Let’s meet tonight’s lucky lady, come on down Jessica Van Markel!”

Tottering down the steps in killer heels, cursing the fact she’d drawn the short straw amongst her colleagues, Jessica plastered a smile onto her face as she made her way to her spot, “Hi, I’m Jessica, I’m 25, I’m from Rotterdam, and I’m a presenter for a sports channel…”

“Welcome to Celebrity Take Me Out Jessica,” Smiling, knowing that most of the people on his show weren’t exactly willing participants for the evening, Paddy nudged her, “So, you have the best MotoGP has to offer about to wander down those steps… Are you excited?”

Hiding the grimace to the best of her ability Jessica laughed, “Like a kid on Christmas Eve…”

“Are we ready to meet the boys?!” Whipping the crowd into a frenzy, Paddy pointed to the stairs, “BRING ON THE BOYS!!”

 

Bounding halfway down the stairs, stopping on the agreed point, Marc grinned, “Hi! I’m Marc, I’m 24 years old, I’m from Cervera and I’m ready to party...”

“Hi,” Dani stopped on the mark, waving somewhat awkwardly at the camera, “I’m Dani, I’m 32 and I enjoy sailing and hanging out with friends.”

Hands in his pockets, thoroughly unimpressed at Herve’s insistence that the team be represented, Johann shrugged, “Hello, I am Johann, I am French, and I like motorbikes.”

“Hey beautiful…” Bradley winked at Jessica, the audience loving his cheek, “I’m Bradley, I’m old enough and I’m **certainly** fun enough…”

Sighing, shrugging at the floor manager’s gestures for enthusiasm, Maverick smiled, “I’m Maverick. We’ve met before I think.”

“Hi, I’m Miguel,” Miguel smiled, a mix of nerves and excitement bubbling in his belly, “I’m 23 and I’m from Portugal.”

“Hey, I’m Joan, I won Moto3 last year and I’m from Mallorca,” Bounding to his spot Joan gave the audience a wave.

Fidgeting until he was on exactly the right spot, Jorge smiled his best cheesy smile, “I’m Jorge, I’m 31, I live in Lugano, and I’d like to share my life with someone special.”

“Hey everyone,” Franky waved at the camera, much of the audience chuckling at the crumpled shirt that someone obviously insisted he wear, “I’m Franky and I’m from Italy.”

Smoothing his suit Andrea winked to the camera, completely ignoring Jessica, “Ciao, I’m am Andrea and I am here to make dreams come true.”

“Hi,” Waving awkwardly to the wrong camera, Alex bit his lip and smiled, “I’m Alex, everyone calls me Rinsy and I’m 22.”

Stumbling on the step Tito waved, trying to remember all the advice his sister-in-law had given him, “Hi, I’m Tito, I live in Almeria and, hi!”

“I’m Jack,” Jack put his hands on his hips, winking in Jessica’s direction, “…and I’m here to show that going down… under… is the best decision you’ll ever make.”

Feeling slightly over-dressed in his custom-made suit, Vale smiled, “I’m Valentino, I’m a nine-time-champion and this title is one I’d like to win.”

“Hey, I’m Fabio, I’m young, but I know _exactly_ what I’m doing…”

Frowning as the camera was so high it didn’t show his charity t-shirt, Livio smiled, “I’m Livio, I’m 20, I’m from Belgium and I’m living proof that the best things come in small packages.”

“Ciao,” Luca smiled in the right direction, his media training paying off, “I’m Luca, I’m 20 and I’m from Tavullia.”

“Hey babe, I’m Dominique, everyone calls me Domi, but you can call me whatever you like…” Domi winked at Jessica before waving to the audience.

Tom laughed at Domi’s cockiness as he made his way to the step, smiling at the camera and addressing Jessica he waved, “Hi, I’m Tom, I’m from Switzerland and Domi is much funnier than me…”

“Hi,” Alex tilted his head slightly, licking his lip, trying to be subtle, but failing slightly thanks to the free champagne backstage, “I’m Alex and they **definitely** saved the best until last…”

 

“Welcome, welcome lads. So, Jessica, some hunky fellas in this bunch…”

Jessica laughed, having met all of them at various points before, playing along with the game, “Yes, there are.”

“Okay, Jessica, you heard their opening pitch… First impressions are **everything** , before you consign ten of these boys to history I need you to tell me, by writing it down, who is your love at first light, who caught your eye first…” Paddy waited, giving Jessica a moment to write down the name, before putting the slip of card into his inside pocket, “Ok Jessica, you’ve decided who did good, but now you need to turn off the lights of those who are out at the first corner… Who is the first to crash and burn?”

“I’m so sorry,” Feeling a bit evil, Jessica laughed at the way the crowd went wild, chanting names of the guys they thought she should get rid of, “Erm, it’s Livio. Sorry Livio! I’m 5’5 and I like my heels high… And you are so young!”

“I would need a ladder,” Not offended in the slightest, Livio made a show of turning off his light and stepping back.”

“We need eight more lights turn out Jessica… Who is next to hit the gravel?”

“Ok, I don’t think he’ll be surprised by this because we’ve discussed it before,” Jessica smiled in Tito’s direction, relieved when he instantly started laughing, “Tito looks like my brother…”

“Do you?” Paddy cackled with laughter when Tito nodded, “Well, I’m very glad you didn’t pick him for the date, that would have been a **weird** wedding photo!”

“Good luck Jess,” Tito chuckled as he turned his light off and stepped back.

“Who is next Jess?”

“Ok,” Jessica bit her lip, then remembered that it was all just a laugh for charity, “I personally don’t like guys wearing earrings…”

Paddy looked along the line of guys, pulling a face before mock whispering to Jessica, “There are a lot of earrings in that line-up…”

“I know, I know,” Jessica laughed, the audience hollering along with her, “Sorry Maverick…”

“No worries,” Maverick laughed, turning off his light with a wave to the audience.

“Fabio…” Jessica smiled as Fabio pouted his lips, “I’m way too old for you!”

“I’d have coped,” Fabio winked as he switched off his light.

Looking left to right along the line Jessica winced, hoping Vale was taking this as much as a joke as she was, “Vale… You can do better than a tv show!”

“So, can you princess, so can you…” Waving to the audience Vale milked the applause before turning off his light.

Paddy stood next to Jessica, “Five down, five to go…”

“Luca. Too young!”

“I’m very attached to my earring as well! Good luck Jess!”

“Andrea, you…”

“ME?!” Outraged Andrea shook his head, disgusted that Jessica had picked him in round one, “Pfft. I was turning my light out anyway, you are **not** my type…”

“Okay then…” Paddy raised his eyebrows at the camera, “Slightly awkward… Who is next to go?”

“Erm,” Thrown by Iannone’s reaction, Jessica bit her lip, relieved when Rinsy tilted his head at her, “Alex, Rinsy, sorry…”

“Aww I’m sad, maybe one day when I grow up,” Alex winked, pleased to see Jessica smile after his teammates rudeness, turning off his light with a dramatic push.

“Two to go Jessica…”

“Bradley, lovely Bradley.”

“You break my heart…” Bradley laughed, turning off his light with a cheeky wave to the audience.

“Okay fellas, one more light is to go, you are **so** close to round two… Jessica, who stalled on the start line?”

Jessica laughed at the euphemism, pausing for dramatic effect (as she’d been told to do), “It’s Jack, sorry Jack.”

“You don’t know what you are missing!”

Laughing as Jack did a cheesy dance before turning off his light, Jessica sighed with relief at that part being over.

“Okay Jessica,” Paddy put his arm around her shoulders, “You’ve heard their first lines, now it’s time for them to see a little more of you… Let’s see what Jessica’s family and friends have to say about her.”

*

“Right boys, you’ve now seen what Jessica’s family and friends say and you have a choice to make… Are you bowing out of the competition because you are insulted that she doesn’t like chocolate? Or are you going to be the man to rescue her from spiders when she’s stuck on that chair for hours when one invades her house? It’s time to choose, light on or light off…”

*

“Franky! You turned out your light, why?” Paddy leant on Franky’s podium, giving him a sceptical look, “Look at her, she’s beautiful!”

“She is,” Franky laughed, pulling a sad face when the audience booed him, “I’m sorry. But I have an earring, so I cut myself free because it was less painful than being rejected…”

Laughing as the audience cheered, Paddy nodded, “Smooth Franky, smooth… Jessica, you have the choice of 9 and you need to whittle them down to two… So, what is your question for the boys?”

“Okay,” Jessica was instantly glad the floor manager had handed her a card with her question written on because she’d completely forgotten, “Imagine we are going on a date in the country and my car breaks down. It’s raining, we’re in the middle of nowhere… What are we going to do for the weekend?”

“Marc, what are you going to do to rescue the weekend?”

“Well, luckily my best friend Santi is a world class mechanic. So, I’d call him, he’d fix the car and that would get our date back on track quick smart.”

“He’s got his own mechanic on speed dial, Jessica!”

“That’s handy because my car is a heap of junk!”

“You might be in there Marc! Well, either you or your friend might…” Paddy laughed, sharing a wink with Marc, “Dani?”

“Luckily, I’m a member of the AA, so I’d call them to rescue us. While we were waiting we could share the picnic I’d be sure to have with me.”

“Nice, do you like a picnic Jessica?”

“Everybody likes a picnic,” Jessica laughed, highly amused by the way normally-quiet Dani was high-fiving the other guys for his good answer.

“Johann?”

“I am quite good with cars, so I would probably just fix the car.”

“Right,” Paddy laughed, Johann obviously not interested in any kind of hamming it up for the cameras, “Do you think Johann is handy with his hands Jess?”

Jessica chuckled, Johann’s frown suggestion he was slightly confused as to why his answer was funny, “I’m sure he is.”

“Miguel, how would you rescue the weekend?”

“I would make sure Jessica was safe and warm in the car and then I’d walk to the next town or village to find a tow-truck. Then we could have dinner in a nice country pub with a real fire while it was fixed.”

“Ooh,” Paddy nodded, impressed, the crowd going wild at Miguel’s smooth answer, “Joan, how you going to beat that answer?”

“I don’t know,” Joan laughed, before shrugging, “I’d probably call someone to rescue us. Maybe a car hire company so we could continue on our way.”

“Jorge…”

“Well, it just wouldn’t happen,” Jorge smiled, attempting to be coy, “We’d take my car and I know it’s reliable.”

Laughing hard, knowing that Jorge meant well, but had accidentally just said “my car is better than yours” Jessica nodded, “Cool.”

“Domi, what would you do with Jessica if you were stranded in the countryside?”

“I’m sure there would be a nice little hotel or B&B somewhere and we’d make the most of wherever we ended up.”

“Oi oi,” Paddy laughed, nudging Jessica, “Tom?”

“I’d wait for the rain to stop and then we could turn the situation into a nice country walk.”

“Nice, nice,” Paddy nodded, “Alex, last again… If you were stuck in Jessica’s car in the rain what would you do?”

“I reckon we could easily steam up the windows,” Alex winked, laughing hard as Jessica, thankfully, found him funny and laughed hard herself.”

“Right, Jessica, you need to get this down to two… So, are you calling Marc’s best friend, going to a B&B with Domi, or are you having an outing in Jorge’s reliable car? Or,” Laughing, Paddy tilted his head toward Alex, “…is young Alex here getting to steam up your windows… Time to turn off some more lights…”

“Tom,” Jessica walked over to Tom’s podium, kissing him on the cheek, “Sorry Tom.”

“No country walks for you Tom!... Next light Jessica?”

“Johann,” Moving to Johann’s podium, Jessica laughed at his confused face, “Sorry Johann.”

“You’ll just have to keep those nimble fingers to yourself Johann! Another light Jessica…”

Stopping in front of Jorge’s podium, Jessica leant in to kiss him on the cheek, chuckling to herself at his accidental rudeness, that so very Jorge, “Sorry Jorge.”

“Jorge needs to find someone else to share his car with…”

Moving to Domi’s podium, Jessica switched his light off, “Sorry Domi.”

“Oh dear, no country hotel nights for Domi!... Five down Jessica… Who is next?”

“Dani, sorry Dani,” Walking along to Dani, Jessica laughed when Dani stretched up on his tip-toes to give her a kiss on the cheek, the audience loving the interaction.

“Right, Jessica, come back here a second…” Paddy put his arm around Jessica’s shoulders, “Ok Jessica, you need to turn out two more lights… Who is next?”

“Joan,” Walking over to Joan’s podium, giving him a warm hug, “Sorry, you are cute, but so young!”

“Can’t fight the numbers…” Joan laughed as he stepped back from Jessica turning his light off.

“Ok Jess, who is taking that last spot on the podium? Who doesn’t get to fight for the win today?”

“Erm, sorry,” Laughing hard as Alex leant over his podium, pretend protecting his light from being switched off, Jessica gave him a peck on the cheek as she turned it off, “Maybe one day…”

“I’ll be waiting!”

“No steamy windows for you young man…” Paddy laughed as Alex pretended to wipe his eyes, “Ok. We started with twenty… We’re now down to two… What do we think guys, who should Jessica pick?... Jessica, you have one more light to turn out, who is running out of fuel at the last corner? Is Marc calling his best mate to rescue you or is Miguel walking in the rain to save the day?”

Walking first toward Miguel, Jessica bit her lip, laughing at the crowd hollering as she turned on her heel and flicked Marc’s light out, “Sorry Marc…”

“Boo!” Chuckling, Marc did as Marc does and cackled, “Ah well, Santi is on holiday anyway, so…”

“Ooh, a lucky escape there Jessica… Come on you two,” Waving Jessica and Miguel toward him, Paddy fought back a smirk, the two having no idea what was about to happen, the final twist having been kept secret from all taking part (although agreed by their managers), “So, Miguel, you beat nineteen rivals, how does that feel? She’s pretty…”

“She’s stunning,” Miguel smiled, genuinely surprised that the attractive brunette had picked him over Marc, “It feels good.”

“Now you guys are going off to a swanky restaurant in London for your date, is that ok?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Well, it’s not ok for us… You see, there is a tradition on this show… You, are going to Fernando’s… A luxury holiday resort on a sunny island. Five days, and who knows, maybe love will blossom…” Smirking at the absolute shock on the two faces, Paddy put one arm around each of them, “Are we up for that? Miguel?”

“Erm, yeah, sure…”

“Excellent, Jess?”

“Erm, yeah…”

“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Jessica and her winner, Miguel!!”

Leaving the stage, Miguel politely taking her arm on the stage, Jessica sighed, realising she should have known her manager was up to something. Glancing left as she turned to wave to the audience she decided that it very much could have been worse, “So, five days…”

“Yeah, I didn’t know…” Miguel smiled bashfully, “I’m sure we’ll enjoy it though… I mean, it’s only five days.”

“Exactly,” Jessica tried not to look at his eyes too much, “It’ll fly by.”

*

“Wakey, wakey…” Miguel nudged Jessica, “We’re here.”

Opening her eyes, confused for a moment, Jessica panicked that she might have drooled on Miguel’s shoulder on the drive from the airport, “Sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Miguel opened the door and helped her out, both looking at the little beach house with wide eyes, “Wow, it looks lovely.”

Pushing open the front door, Jessica shared a look with Miguel, the beach house kitted out with beautiful, yet simple furnishings, “It’s stunning…”

“The water comes right up to the house…” Pulling back the curtain, Miguel showed Jessica the view, “Thank you so much for picking me!”

Jessica laughed, turning to look around the rest of the place, before freezing when she spotted the problem, “Erm, Miguel…”

“Hmm?” Turning away from the view, Miguel frowned, “What’s up?”

“There’s only one bed…”


End file.
